What Russian Women Don’t Quite Like in American and Western Men

In my last post I pretty much praised American men for their love for children, dedication to families and appreciation of women (here is the post). This time I want to write about things that Russian women are NOT fond of in men and which American men are sometimes guilty of.

First of all, clothes. Surely, after you are married for awhile, you can relax because she will forgive you oversized sweats at home, or even a t-shirt with Minie-Mouse. I know I do. But when you are dating, try to look presentable. Russian women take good care of themselves and they usually try to look their best. It is a good thing to respect this and do the same. If you show up for a date in dirty jeans and sneakers, she may take it as a lack of respect for her. Or she might think that you don’t have any taste at all.

Another thing that many Russian women say while dating Americans is that they are not acting as gentlemen. Now, before you get offended, let me explain. Feminism is not considered to be hot in Russia. Russian women don’t want to be the same as men and often they don’t need to be treated equally. They know they are a weaker gender; they like to be loved, admired and protected by their men. They expect you to pay for her in a restaurant, hold the door for her; let her in first; help her out on a coat and so on. American men often don’t do that.

I remember shopping for groceries with my American fiancée at the store. When we entered the store, I grabbed the shopping cart, because it was closer to me than to him. I was expecting him to take it from me, but he didn’t. I started filling it up and it was obvious that it was getting too heavy, but he still didn’t take it from me. I was too proud to ask him and he didn’t even think to do that. I wasn’t very familiar with how things in America worked at the time and I got offended. How inconsiderate of him, I thought. Why a 100 pound weak woman has to carry a bunch of stuff when a strong male, who used to be a professional bodybuilder, walks with hands in his pockets.

Now things are different. He doesn’t mind to carry heavy stuff and he always willingly helps me. After being married for awhile I was able to tell him what my expectations were. He simply didn’t know. He was used to American women, who wanted to be independent and wanted to prove the men that they were not any worse.

My husband’s relative just recently got yelled at by a woman whom he opened the door for. He is an old-fashioned older guy, and he was just trying to be polite. Now he is afraid to.

American men are family oriented, but they don’t have nearly as closer tights with their parents, grandparents, siblings and even some friends as Russians. Westerners are much more independent than Russians (some believe they are more selfish), so they often don’t understand why their Russian wives needs to talk to their mothers, brothers or sisters every other day; why they have to visit them every Summer, and why they cry in their pillows saying how much they miss them.

Well, even if you don’t understand this, please try to accept it. Never ever mock her or laugh at her. If she is homesick, it doesn’t mean she is not happy with you or she doesn’t like you. It is very difficult to leave family, friends, country, city and life behind. Be there for her. Encourage her contact with her family, because it is important for her and it will make her happy. Isn’t this what you want?