Russian Dating Scams: Jack’s Story

Brides from Russia and Former Soviet Union are popular. Thousands of western men are looking for Russian wives and many find them. Some, however, become victims of scams.

We have a friend, Jack, a guy in his 50s, who after a number of unsuccessful relationships and a marriage with American women, decided to marry a Russian. He looked for his ideal woman for months (through websites and through marriage agencies) until he finally found her. Or that’s what he thought. Her name was Lena. She was 10 years younger; skinny, beautiful, and stylish. She wrote long emails in broken English to him, but it didn’t bother Jack at all. He thought it was cute. They spoke on the phone a number of times and he loved her accent. They were writing to each other for about 4 months when he decided it was finally time to meet her in person. He thought it would be easier for everyone if he came to Volgograd (where Lena was from). When Jack wrote to Lena that he wanted to come, she disappeared for a few days (before that she was replying to his e-mails every day). He started thinking that he offended her somehow, but she suddenly reappeared. Turned out that Lena’s mother just got severely ill (some sort of heart condition). She is in the hospital, Lena wrote, and no one knows if she will live. She didn’t ask Jack for anything, just expressed her sorrow. Needless to say that Jack, who was already in love with Lena, asked if there was anything he could do.

Lena wrote: “My beloved Jack. I am very sad. I love my Mother such much. She has only me and I can’t help anything. Doctors say she need surgery, but I have no such money. It is $3600. I sell my earings from grandmother and my rings, but I have now only $600. I don’t want to ask you, because it is a lot of money. I don’t know what to do.
Yours forever,
Lena”

Jack, who is a very kind and compassionate guy, was ready to transfer the money to her as soon as he read this email. But just like most average Americans, he didn’t have that much money in cash. He was going to find money for Lena, but as you can imagine it was taking some time. He cooled off a little and a small alarm in his head went off. He emailed us, asking what we thought about this situation.

I smelled scam right away. But we didn’t want to disappoint Jack before we were 100 % sure. Also, if there was even a small chance that Lena was an honest woman and her mother was ill and she needed help, we didn’t want to screw it all up.

We suggested that Jack give a test for Lena. Here is what he wrote based on our suggestion:

“Dearest Lena. I am terribly sorry that your mother is ill and I wish I could be near to comfort you. I am not sure how medicine in your country works, but I hope Russian doctors are not taking advantage of you. $3600 seems like a lot for anyone in Russia to pay. I have a friend who is a cardiologist. If you tell me what the exact problem your mother has, we can figure something out together. Maybe we have some sort of drug or therapy in the United States, which can help your mother. I will be waiting impatiently for your answer.
Yours, Jack.”

Needless to say, Lena disappeared. For good. Until now we don’t even know if the pictures she sent Jack were real, neither do we know who she really was. She claimed to be a 32 year old musical teacher, who loved cooking, gardening and dreamt of kids. Maybe Lena or whatever her real name was, was a mother of 3 and she was scamming people along with her husband. Maybe “Lena” was a 50-year old man, who performed scams with “her” daughter or niece”.

Scams happen. They shouldn’t discourage you from seeking your love through Russian dating websites, but you should be alert and careful. With your money and with your heart.